this is my first blog so im not sure what im supposed to say...... so yea....... welll since im starting out of no where i might as well start at the beggingin of my problems.
ok i went all emo this week just because i felt so unwanted at school but the good news about this was that i really started to get along with my family members like relatives etc. so at school : i invited all my budddies to my birthday party but one after one they said they couldnt make it. so i felt really unwanted and everyone started to avoid me and hide secrets and i didnt like that. and thats because no one likes to be ignored. then i finally blew because i was being really sutpid and thought about the past, like when i want to talk about my problems but they just go "SO?" like they dont care about me at all. i really hated that. i even started to cry alone at lunch but no one cared. but like one person did. she always acted like she hated me and everything so now she kept bothering me when i was crying she said
"Areyou okay?"
"yea"
" you dont look okay though,so are you sure?"
"yea im sure"
i still dont get why she started to care about me all of a sudden because of all the years i knew her she never cared about me. she even told all her and my friends that she hated me and got really annoyed of me. so i just didnt care because even if i try to change and make her like me it wont really be me anymore it will be me turned into her and alot of people dislike her attitude. so there realy was no point in me changeing since it will make people hate me even more. and also all my close friendsgot a guy in their life now.and im really happy for them because they are really pretty and really cool and awesome people so they deserve love. but me however is ugly and nobody likes me . so i cant help but be jealous but i am also thinking that jealousy dont help so i just ignored the times they ditched me for their boyfriends. and So the time i spent with them got less and less and i got really sad because of it because all the secrets my close friends used to tell me they told others so it felt like i lost the link that kept us friends. So half the time im sad in my heart and the other half im really happy for them. Slowly my saddness is going away because of the classes i have with some other friends. however most of my classes i am a loner because all my friends have their own groupies so i cant just go and cut right in right? so that also makes me really sad.
in the whole school i am never loved because when i invite people out they rejject. and when other people invite others thay just go YES! even some random kid told me
"wow! people really hate you, they dont even wanna go hang out with you of help you on anything."
it hurts to hear that from a kid i dont even know.
so now its sunday and what do i have to say ITS SPRING BREAK! and i have an empty schedule again. so when i come back i hope everything will go up hill from now on.
Goodbye for now until tomarow at least
-Mitsuki1246 [Matt]
<------ My School Logo
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